Firsts

These are all from the past two weeks. Don't worry. They're all REALLY short.

Some Pics

We've been planting (our backyard doesn't have any empty dirt, so we're still relegated to planters):

I thought this was amusing. We have a bush that grows some sort of funky Chinese vegetable. The girls "planted" the huge vegetable a couple of months ago and I laughed to myself because they had basically just put in behind a shed a thrown a little dirt over it...but like some fairy tale, the vines actually started growing (picture was taken a couple of months ago) and now it's a big bush! Faith!
Maya and Xochi.

And our Sedona pics, which are a repeat for most of you since I put them on Facebook already.

I'm So Proud of Myself

I'm so proud of myself. I just photoshopped these two pictures to make this one (I moved smiling Maya and Evie into a different picture) I got curious if I could do it. It took me like four hours:

Rambling

I feel like my blog is getting boring. I like to throw in some of my raucous opinions and thoughts every once in while. But lately I've been lacking them. Thoughts I mean. It's astounding to me how easy it is to get dumb while being a full time mom. It's not that I don't crave thought provoking things; I would love to engage in some of my past indulgences like The Economist, literature, painting, taking a shower...oops wrong genre...but kids are so all consuming, and even when I have a spare moment my brain. shuts. down.

Actually, one of the only things going on in my brain lately (beside the auto drive, routine, kid-sustaining tasks) are questions of spirituality vs. religion. But that's almost part of the routine too, as I've been throwing those topics around non-stop since I was 18 years old. When I overwhelm myself I always go back to a conversation I had in Antigua Guatemala with a tourist I met when I worked there. He was a brilliant engineer at some Ivy League and when the topic of religion came up he said he was some religion or other. I asked him if he believed in it. He said something like, "I used to stress about it, but it doesn't matter to me anymore; that's where I was born so that's what I'll be." It may seem too simple or apathetic, but to me it seemed more like a deep trust in the Way of Things...that God puts you where you need to be and stressing about it is just a waste of energy. Be the best What-You-Are. (Does that make sense?) That same sentiment is also beautifully illuminated in Anna Karenina via Levin's character. That book is a brilliant psychological/spiritual biopsy of human nature. Anyway, I have to remind myself of this sometimes when I get discontent. But I also love the freedom and excitement of all that life and the world have to offer and the blessing of being able to choose whatever I want to make of myself and my life.

Anyway, it's super late and I'm super tired. I love my kiddos and husband--every one of them soooo much. I love my original family (what do you call that?) and I can hardly wait to see them all on Sunday. Love love love. Hasta luego beautiful world.

(I'm thinking, "don't post this you're deliriously tired." but will anyway and probably delete in the morning when my sleep deprivation caused drunkenness is worn off...like usual)

Things Aren't Always as They Appear

While in the backyard today, I looked over to see Maya holding herself (in the way that girls do when they need to use the bathroom) and jumping and wiggling around.

Mom: Maya, go in and go potty!

Maya: I don't need to.

Mom: Then why are you holding yourself? Go.

Maya: I don't need to go potty. I'm just trying to lift myself up.

I Need to Loose Weight

We were outside sunbathing and Cambria came up and snuggled in to me in her tight little swimsuit.

Mom: I love you, you skinny little lizard.

Caima: I love you too, you big puffy lizard.

Evangeline - Three Months

Evie is three months. Here are a million pictures of her. She smiles a lot, but every time I take out the camera she sees the lights and stares at the camera and looses her smile. C'est la vie.

Eves and Dad.




She LOVED swimming. She was cooing and laughing the whole time.

Her sisters literally can't get enough of her (and are often getting snapped at to give her more space). If they are good, they get the treat of snuggling with her in their bed for a minute every night.



With Molly at lunch.

A bunch of the same. I couldn't choose.



We are all so in love with her. She's such a little angel!

Potporri

...................................Random stuff ...............................................

I was laughing so hard when Maya came up to me in the park perplexed because she couldn't find her ice cream. She had the cone in her hand, but didn't know what happened to the ice cream. I was perplexed at how it ended up on top of her head. When she saw me laughing she reached up, felt it, and it slid down her head. When she realized it was on her head, she started whining and I pulled out the camera. Classic.

Occasionally, the girls wake up and put on my yoga video all by themselves. I'm quite impressed at their form.
I had to post a picture of this in case our house burned down. I never want to loose it. I love Maya's hair.


.............................................Friends....................................................


We always have fun hanging out with friends. Here are Caima and Sydney learning to be rockstars.
Some pics with Sydney in the park by our house.

Sweet Rachie's birthday party.

................................................Spring Sing...............................................

Pre-schoolers are so adorable. Caima had her Spring Sing last week. She was phenominal! She knew all the words and sang loud and proud.
Picture of the girls after the performance.
Cambria directed and took this picture. Handsome! (She made him pose this way. So funny.)

..............................................Outings.................................................

I love all things festival. Dave and I were on a date Saturday afternoon at my favorite restaurant and when we came out we saw the Asian/Pacific Islander festival going on. We went home, grabbed the kids and went back. Some fun performances included this kids doing this Chinese trandition--they rolled and swung and flung these big spool-like things around with their string-stick things.
Some Indian wanna-be Bollywood dancers amused me. I love the costumes.

I kinda got a girl-crush on this Korean dummer girl. She rocked!
Korean dancer.
I was so into the Kung Fu presentation that I forgot to take pictures until they were all done. We've got some AMAZING kung fu talent in Mountain View.
Hawaiian dancers ended the show. Always fun.


These next pics are from the week before last. I have made fun of some of the weak parades around here before...yet we still go to them all. We went to the pet parade in Los Altos and were amused by all the random people walking their pets. I think the whole town shows up to walk. There were more people in the parade than watching it. A bit of randomness:

Dave and I were cracking up at the half-nudie Jerry Garcia dog walker.
I just don't get this.

All right. I think that's more than enough pictures for now. We're off for a hot weekend out on the town: Sun Kil Moon tonight and a swanky party at the Four Seasons tomorrow. We love our friends.

Deceptively Darling

We flew to Albuquerque a couple of weeks ago to visit my beautiful mom, who has been going through chemo for the past couple of months, in hopes that it would make the time pass more quickly and enjoyably for her. She is such a trooper. Despite the harsh effects of chemo (food doesn't stay down, skin irritations, extreme exhaustion, nausea, dry mouth--you name it!) she is always pleasant and never complains... and she still looks gorgeous! She is truly amazing.

Here are the pictures from the trip:

Evie's first plane trip. She was a perfect angel! Slept most of the time and was happy when she was awake.
Mom with Evangeline again. It's been over two months since they last saw each other.
We had a little photo shoot on the night that we arrived.
Eliza, Cambria and Maya. They got along fabulously.

The two Janices.
The girls love their grandpa...including Evie. She talked and smiled with him more than anyone I've ever seen her with (including me).


You've probably been looking at my mom thinking, "She looks darling! I guess she's not very sick..." Don't be decieved, she wasn't feeling so hot. Here is the port through which the chemicals enter her body. The good news is that they are doing what they should--killing that mean cancer.
Aunt Kellie with Evangeline.

Everyone knows my mom is a kid magnet, but you probably wouldn't have guessed that four kids could actually fit in the front seat with her. They all wanted to be with her while she was watching Isaac's baseball game from the car.
When grandpa saw the party.
The girls enjoyed a nice little tea party with grandma. They love her so much!!!

But, most of our time was spent just hanging out. Evangeline makes that a nice and relaxing event.
She even took an hour and a half nap with grandma one day. So cute (both of them)!


I loved these shots of Grandma and Evangeline.


We stayed with Kellie and KC--who were VERY gracious hosts and so good to us--and the girls spent lots of time in the pool. They had such a great time with their cousins. Caima and Isaac teamed up and Eliza and Maya were always holding hands. It was so cute.




The girls loved to come out and yell "TRIPLETS!" It's a nightly tradition for Caima and Maya to yell "Twins!" after they put their jammies on and they loved expanding it to include Eliza.
I was treated like royalty on my birthday. Dad took us all out (except Mom) for a really really good Indian buffet for lunch. Then Kellie took the girls while I went shopping alone. That night they threw a party dinner in Kellie's yard. She made yummy fajitas and fruit and Mom and Dad got an ice cream cake. It was so fun! I'm embarrassed at how spoiled I am. They were WAY too good to me.
I seriously don't know how Kellie does it. She is a FABULOUS home-school mom (seriously, Isaac writes as well as some of my sixth graders); takes care of the ward and everyone she knows: baby showers, young women activities; meals for mom; a million extra curricular activities for her talented kids; and still manages to recognize the little needs of everyone around her! All while a little refuge family took over a corner of her house (we were there TEN days)!
The kids got a special treat to have Grandpa read stories with them and Grandma snuggle them to sleep. He looks like a Navajo story teller doll here.

I also got the treat of going to lunch twice with my best friends in ABQ, whom I love!
Jackie--she was also in Albuquerque on a quick trip. She is a doctor and has been all over the world practicing and traveling. She such an awesome person.
And Charissa (Robin)! She is one of the most ambitious people I know. She has started and run three different very successful businesses (Carpet Cleaning, Contracting, and Real Estate) in the past few years (while being a mom). Rockstar!
I thought our plane flew out at the wrong time and missed my flight while I was at lunch with Charissa, but made another flight a couple hours later. Grandpa made it all work for us--thank goodness!

I sure hope we weren't a burden while we were there. I intended to just go and help mom and that's it. But I got treated much too well and feel a little guilty about it.

After an adventurous flight home we finally made it!
We're settled back in, but still thinking about Mom. She finished he last chemo treatment this weekend--hooray! She gets a break for a couple of months. We can't wait to see everyone again in Sedona--only three more weeks!

Political Princess

Before I forget to write it down. One of my favorite thing to come out Maya's mouth:

We were on the plane coming home from Albuquerque and Maya took my book. "I'll read it to you Mama."

She proceeded to "read" me stories about whatever came to her mind: cousins, bikes, puppies and princesses. Mostly princesses. Her favorite princess is Snow White. I was delighted when she added a twist and told me a story about "Snow Whak Obama."

Shifty Eye

We just got back from Albuquerque. We had such a great time spending time with Grandma and Grandpa, KC, Kellie, Isaac and Eliza.

I'll post more later once we're unpacked and recovered from jet lag, but here is a video of Eliza--who is constantly cracking me up--doing "shifty eyes" at Maya (KC's tutelage).

Birthdays Away

Happy Birthday Brookie - you are the best.

Videos Only Grandparents Would Be Entertained By

We had a dance contest yesterday. Winner got chocolate. (We all won). Presenting Cambria:



I love the first six seconds of Maya bouncing to Jay-Z's version of It's a Hard Knock Life. Thug Maya:

Venting

1. I just found out a guy I was near-obsessed with in college is gay. I feel so much less rejected.

2. I need to exercise to increase my energy level, but I'm too tired to do it.

3. I am swallowing my pride and getting a house cleaner. She's coming tomorrow to give me an estimate. I feel like I just lost some big important challenge. My mom had a clean house and five kids, but I can't do it with three. I can keep it livably clean most of the time, but it's never all clean and dusted and scrubbed. Previously, when I've had someone come and clean, they leave after three hours and I think, "I could have done that. All I need is three hours. I can do that." But it never happens. I feel like such a failure.

4. I'm starting to hate facebook. I can't stay off it and I don't even like it. I feel like it's replacing some piece of my social life that shouldn't go away. Plus, there is no substance. I want thoughts, opinions, detail...that's why I like blogs, but it seems like facebook is replacing blogs. Boo.

5. I can't believe how ugly I am these days. I rarely wear makeup, my hair is always scraggly and greasy (but I'm getting it cut on Saturday--hooray!), I wear yoga pants and a sweatshirt often and I have a big zit on my chin. Motherhood should be more glamorous than this. It should merit more beauty and vitality. Where is karma when your complexion needs it?

Stuff

1. Evangeline had her two month doctor appointment today. She passed with flying colors--11 lbs. 11 oz. 90% height, 76% weight. Yahoo! I never had enough milk with my other two and it's all I prayed for when I was pregnant, so I am ecstatic! Yay for my body! The doctor said that most women produce more and more with each child. Evangeline is lucky to be third.

2. We just made cupcakes. YUM. But Cambria frosted them all to assemble on a cupcake party and, in the process, frosted our entire kitchen.

3. We went kiting yesterday with friends. No dads were there and it was no bueno. Chasing toddlers, managing babies, setting up kites and trying to keep them up without tangling or decapitating anyone was too much for two moms.

4. I'll leave you with some pictures of our weekend.

We went to a parade here in Mountain View. We've been very disappointed with parades in neighboring cities, which shattered my concept of what parades are supposed to be. They have just been people walking...and more people walking...no floats, no music, no candy...

...but trust Mountain View to step it up. I love this city.

Caima and Maya were thoroughly entertained. Maya turned to me and yelled, "Mom, I love this party!"

Love this picture.
This was their favorite part...
This is how I want to get around when the kids are gone.


We went to the festival in the park afterward. We got to see a Brazilian bateria and dance company (the same one that I started drumming with right before I got pregnant and sick) and some awesome kung fu presentations. The girls share my love of martial arts. They have some AMAZING kung fu masters here. Blew me away. I didn't think there was anyone who could do it like the movies, but they did.
Maya was mesmerized.
Perhaps one day she'll be a warrior girl like this one.
They had a city limbo contest. The girls loved it.



Me, the baby (in bjorn), Maya and Caima in the background.

We stopped at a Chinese grocery store afterward for drinks and hit a goldmine of delight--the girls got Hello Kitty soda in these cool bottles that had a glass ball that rolled around it and I got a lychee soda in a CLEAR can (on the shelf too). So cool.
I sure love Mountain View.

Weekend

We were lucky enough to have my friend Melinda visit us from DC. I loved every second of it and the girls loved her too. life was easier with her here. She's a lawyer and had some business in the city, so we went up with her then went to the SFMOMA afterward. Always a pleasant time.

Cambria said this was her favorite Clyfford Still (her favorite color is purple).
Maya said this was her favorite sculpture. I asked her why and she said, "Because it has no face." I started to worry about the psychological implications, but then Melinda told me she had talked about it with Maya. So I think the social association was the reason she liked it. The girls love Melinda!

This instillation by Ranjani Shettar was beautiful.

William Kentridge was amazing. His stop motion films were mesmerizing--even the girls sat perfectly content watching them for over a half an hour. It was a great day at the museum.
Saturday we met some friends at Golden Gate Park and went to the Japanese Tea Gardens, then to Haight Street.

Melinda and me
Nathan was visiting from Houston and Jay recently moved to Oakland. We love these guys and it's always fun to see them. Dave got to go to a couple of shows with them (Paul Weller and 108)...(and I'm jealous).






Cambria took these next three shots--she's way better than me!

So sad the weekend had to end.

Our New Toy

Here's what we'll be doing all summer. Arrrg...

Zoo

We always love having visitors because it gets us out and we get a local vacation of our own. Last week when our cousins were here we went to the San Francisco Zoo for the first time and loved it! It is a great zoo--very green and has very interesting animals.

Tyce was a sweetheart to push Maya almost the whole day. He's such a great guy.
Mandrill.

Gorillas are so fascinating. It's so interesting to watch animals so reminiscent of our our own species... the way they move and stare is so familiar.
Me and my girlies. And yes, I know it looks a little dorky, but I LOVE and sware by the Moby wrap. Evie sleeps in it all day every day and I have freedom to do whatever we want, all while she feels safe, secure and protected. And yes, she can breathe just fine (I get get occasional panicky questions from people).
Amorous giraffes.
Caima, Mary and Maya.

Mary helping lift Caima to be tall enough for the giraffe ears.
Tyce parting ways with the peacock.
It was a beautiful sunny day. Loved this yellow flower patch.
All the cousins except tyce making wishes with coins in the fountain.
Cute Mary with Evangeline.

1. Always thinking about and praying for my mom. Cancer sucks.

2. Loving the baby (she's asleep on me right now). She feels like a little peace and love generator that churns light into my heart all day...who currently blasted an ENORMOUS poop as I wrote that...probably in protest of my cheesiness.

3. My friend Melinda is flying in today and staying with us for the weekend--I'm so excited to see her! Our friend Nathan is also going to be here this weekend (to see Paul Weller). Fun week!

4. To hide or not the hide? That is the question. Should I join the movement to liberate nursing mothers or use the tent?

5. My husband is hot.

6. I can't believe Texas is threatening to secede from the nation in protest of govt spending--the governor, at least. I would say good riddance, but our parents live there and we love them...not to mention Chuy's...

7. It has been nice to go out a couple of times with my friends: to be out of spit-up smelling t-shirts, to have my body liberated from the baby, to eat good food, and to have good conversation with cool girls. I am soooo thankful for a competent, patient, good guy who can handle a baby by himself and is willing to do so.

8. I have really great friends here.

9. I always think of things I want to post about throughout the day, then forget them when I sit down to post.

10. Music. I need more good music in my life. Something new. Anyone have any recommendations?

11. It's currently sunny and blue and beautiful.

12. Cambria is so cute with the baby. She can stand up and hold her quite well, so she soothes and rocks her and is such a good little second mom. Maya just gets in her face and laughs hysterically because she loves her so much and can't handle it. Not so soothing, but I'm glad she loves her.

13. Peanut better and honey is calling for me.

Her Royal Highness

We have a new princess ruling the kingdom for the next while. The peasants are very pleased and are working around the clock to assure her comfort and happiness. Today they bestowed handcrafted jewelry to her, which were well received.


The princess with her humble artisans.

FAIL

Thought this blog was pretty funny--failblog.org. My favorite entry:

Happy Easter!

Cambria's pre-school got a visit from the easter bunny. They were only slightly skeptical. It put them over the edge of doubt though when the teacher had to hold his arm and help him up the stairs and shuffle out. He must have been very old...I mean the easter bunny has been around for a long time, but I never thought of him/her as having hip and joint problems like other seniors.
The egg hunt!

We got a fun visit from Rebecca (Dave's sister) and her cute family. We loved spending time with them and the girls loved playing with their cousins.
Our family on Easter day.
Hope everyone had a great weekend!

LOVE

The girls LOVED their Easter present from Grandma.



Xochi LOVES her sisters. She grinned and grinned at Maya this morning. (Needless to say, we're all completely enamored with her).
It's overwhelming sometimes, really.

Mother's Day Gift

Mother's Day is coming coming up. Dave-- hint, hint...


If they sell out, I'd love these smittens instead...

If Only I Were This Cool

a post about nothing

1. i love busta rhymes.

2. i'm craving mischief. i made a sorta-goal last night to sneak into every hotel pool in mountain view over the summer. it's hard to find kid-friendly mischief.

3. at what age can babies go camping?

4. dave and i just had a great date--indian buffet, walking downtown, fabulous hippie jam band. good night.

5. dave chappelle is one funny son of a gun. i almost just laughed a hole in my lung.

6. i deperately need a haircut. i want it short and curly again, but i'm self-conscious that i'll look like i'm trying to look like maya. i read an article about what NOT to do with your hair, and one of the pieces of advice was "don't try to look like your kids" and while i wasn't consciously, i'm not sure if i maybe was trying to sub-consciously because i love her hair and i have always wanted an afro of some sort. i wish i had a cute petite pixie face so i could cut my hair short. i think i would just look like jay leno, though.

7. nursing a baby=a brain rotting amount of television time. and no, i can't read a book; i'm not one of those gifted moms who can cook dinner or do anything while feeding the baby--it takes a lot of motor skill for me and dos manos. anyway, i'm hooked on every trashy reality show (my favorite is tough love) and competition, in addition to the stuff i used to watch (jon stewart, lost--which is the best tv show EVER...but i stopped watching heroes last season because it made me feel yuck and dark and scared of people. skylar was over the top evil).

8. i just saw two good movies--spanglish and the truman show, oh and part of american beauty. they all made me never ever ever want to raise my kids in the suburbs. but i kinda already felt that way. gosh, why do so many filmmakers hate the suburbs. are they really that bad? i grew up in them and feel like it all turned out pretty well. but, i still don't want to live there. i sure love moutain view. it's a good mix of a lot of things i love. my only wish is for camping mountains closer by.

9. why i do still want to do all the same things i did in college all the time: road trips, dancing on weekends, wandering, hanging out with friends? when does that mom feeling of wanting to stay home and cook, clean and sew kick in? don't get me wrong, i love being a mom and want to do this stuff with my family-- i just want to be OUT all the time. it's sad when you hit a point of begging your kids to take a train ride to go get ice cream ("no mom, we just want to stay home, pleeeeease!)

10. is it me, or is everything funnier lately? i've been laughing way way more than usual. everything is really funny. maybe it's post-baby hormones. or maybe people are getting more funny. what would cause that? economy stress mandating comic relief? i do think 2009 has a better vibe than 2008. fo sho.

Faith

Occasionally, when I feel really antsy and can't sit through sunday school (OK, often), I wander around in the halls and stop to spy on my kiddos in their classrooms. It's so fascinating to see them interact with the world without me. Anyway, I peeked in the doorway just in time to see Cambria's turn at a game they were playing. They had to pick a card and and answer the question from a case study.

Teacher: Cambria, you have one dollar. You go to the store and really want to buy a can of soda that costs .95 cents. But then you won't have enough to pay your tithing. What should you do?

Cambria: Pray for more money!

One Month Old

Our little Evangeline has been such a dream. She's super mellow and sleeps in a little bundle on my chest most of the day and wakes up occasionally to look around peacefully. I'm so in love. But I'm not the only one.

Caima and Maya can't get enough and want to hold her, play with her, and coo at her all the time. They've been very helpful to hold her and get things for her and I'm so glad they love her so much. The only thing that has been a little exhausting is how much they want to interact and get a response from her, which means poking her, putting fingers in her mouth hoping that she'll bite, putting cheeks near her mouth hoping she'll try to suck, etc. But, it's sooo cute to see them all together.

I haven't taken her to church, but I did get her dressed up for a couple of pics.


Dave has been so amazingly supportive and I've been so glad that he has made an effort to be home in time to put Cambria and Maya to bed at night and gives me a break at night. He's made things so pleasant.
I love to see Cambria all melted when she holds Evangeline. She's a great big sister.
I'm a bad mom, I let the girls push Xochi in their doll strollers...only for a minute. It sure was cute.

This was one of the sweetest moments I've seen. I had to go grab something from the other room, so I asked Maya to watch her for a minute. I came back to see Maya reading a story to her in the cutest most loving little voice.
Tummy time isn't so successful with her. She's so mellow, she's perfectly content to just lay there and chill out. Hence, she's not even close to being able to hold her own head up yet.
My three little loves.

For the most up to date pictures, I took these tonight. She had had an eye infection with goupy, swollen eyes, but it's starting to clear up. Also, today was the first day I've gotten a real, sustained, interactive smile without questioning if it was gas or something. It was soooo cute, but I didn't get in on camera. But, I think she's pretty darn cute--smile or not.

Aztec-Mexica New Year Ceremony

I promise I love Evangeline and I'm in heaven with her and I will get some pictures of her up. But, I'm a week behind and want to post on the Aztec New Year celebration we went to last Saturday.

This is what the site said about it:

Calpulli Tonalehqueh is an Azteca Mexica Community in the San Jose Bay Area. 'Calpulli' in our Nahuatl language means 'the unity of houses and families.' Our group is made up of many families who are maintaining the traditions of our ancestors through education, danza, art, music and ceremony. Please help us celebrate the Mexica New Year with a Celebration Ceremony with Matlactli Calli, Sunrise Ceremony, many dance presentations from a variety of dance groups, food, arts & crafts, and kids activities.

We went and LOVED it. I couldn't get enough of the costume and dance. I'm going to post ten zillion pictures because, like I said, I can't get enough.

We arrived as the ceremonial dance was going on. It was a real ceremony, not a performance, which made the whole thing even more fascinating. From a half mile away you could hear the rhythm of the dancers as the shell leg bands were shaking. In the middle of the hundreds of dancers was a shrine of sorts: it had offerings of fruit, flowers and inscence and the drummers were surrounding it pounding away. The whole scene was mesmerizing.

They danced for hours on end as a few people went around with slices of oranges or apples and water to sustain them.
The costumes were so elaborate and ornate. The whole thing was so authentic.
Check out this leopard costume. So cool. You can click on any of the pictures to make them bigger.

I think this was the biggest head dress that I saw.
Later found the same guy in this picture for the group on the web.
The booths had such cool crafts and arts. I love the S. Mexico Dia de Los Muertos and skeleton crafts.
The language of the Aztecs is called Nahuatl (it's what Xochitl is). It's such a cool language. This sign has Nahuatl on the top and Spanish on the bottom. If I understand correctly, it's a booth to give traditional/cultural advice from that region (maybe it's something I don't understand).
Of course the girls love the treats and always get helados.
Loved these costumes (you gotta click on it).
The kids looked so cool.
These signs where posted all around the enclosing fence.
Of course this girl (in the white skirt) was one of my favorites. Can you tell why?

I think of the hundreds of people I saw there, I only saw about two other white people. Our girls in their pink and lavendar dresses, toting plastic purses, stuck out like sore thumbs (but we're kinda used to that). I had Xochi sleeping in the Moby under my jacket the whole time, so she didn't see any of it, but I'm sure she absorbed some of my excitment.
We all loved it and are so glad we went.

Last Week -

We had a great week. Xochi turned a week old, Maya turned three years old, my mom was here. I'm so behind on blogging, so although I wanted to break a few of these up, I'm just going to post a week at a time or else I'll never finish.

We went to Shoreline lake and hung out. It was nice to get out of the house.



Cambria ran into some of her friends at the park.
Love this picture. Accurately depicts how much the girls love Grandma.
The next day, March 9th, Maya turned three! We didn't want the baby's arrival to overshadow her, so we threw a little party. Here they are decorating their party bags.
On a "birthday egg hunt".



Our birthday girl! She has been so fun to raise. She's so funny and makes us laugh all the time. She's a little tease and lightens up our house with her humor, love and kindness. Happy Birthday to our sweet Maya!
Playing an egg balancing game.


We always do a pinata.


The next few pictures are of her opening some of the gifts. Butterfly wings.
Isaac and Eliza made her the cutest little cards! You can click on it to read them.



The girls LOVE books!
Adorable!
The girls wore these for St. Patrick's Day yesterday--thank you Kellie and Mom!

My mom was a saint to come and help us with the baby. I don't know how I would have done it without her. It meant so much to me especially since after five years of remission, she was diagnosed with liver cancer the week before she came. I felt guilty about having her during this time, but she insisted. She is the most amazing mother I have ever known. I can't believe she is mine! I love her so much and it was HEAVEN to have her with us. My mom and dad are currently in Houston at the best cancer institute in the nation and I'm hopeful that she'll beat this! (I believe in prayer, so any are welcome on her behalf!)

She loved that Maya imitated an expression she often does. So funny!

Cambria and Maya are absolutely in-love with Grandma. They had the time of their life with her!




I feel so incredibly lucky to have been raised by such a loving, unselfish, strong, supportive woman. I love my mom!!!

Sleep Deprivation?

A couple of days ago I was grumpy and short with the girls. I apologized and said, "I'm sorry I'm acting so grumpy. I didn't get enough sleep last night because I have to wake up and feed the baby all the time."

Today Maya climbed up on the counter, retrieved the chocolate macadamia caramel turtles (where they were supposed to be out of kids reach) took them into her room and ate half of them for lunch. When I found the rest hidden in her room I calmly gave her a lecture about sneaking into things and eating too much sugar and sent her to time out. As she walked to her room, in a sing-songy voice she said, "Mom, I guess you didn't get enough sleep last night!"

The Story Behind the Name

Xochitl Flower of Life 1938
Frida Khalo

Thanks for your previous comments--it's nice to feel like we're surrounded by friends and family (without having to clean the house :-). We feel so lucky to have so many kind and supportive people in our lives.

I plan on blogging more this year and have this serve as a journal. I really got to thinking when our dear friends' house burned down in the fires in Santa Barbara. The only pics they have of the last couple of years (and the first years of their little girl's life) are what are online. Plus, I don't write in journals like I used to. So this is pretty much it, as family records go.

Anyway, I wanted to write about Evangeline's name and how it came about.

Dave and I had a hard time coming up with names this time around. We had a few that we liked, but none that we were both completely satisfied with. Finally in the last week of pregnancy, we decided on the name Jemma Evangeline Cook and took it to the hospital intending to use it. But, after our little one was in our arms, within seconds, we both looked at her and decisively agreed that she did not look like a Jemma. At all.

So, we were back to ground zero.

We have both had reservations about the name Evangeline, but her whole aura was so angelic that the angel part of her name endeared us to it and it seemed fitting. So that stuck.

As for the middle name, we pulled out all the scraps of paper with names and lists of names that we had jotted down and collected throughout the past few months and started going through them. We started by crossing out the names that one of us didn't like. Out of about 25 names that left us with about seven. Then, we looked at her and eliminated the ones that didn't fit her. That left us with five. Then we eliminated the ones we liked the least of the five. Down to three. We couldn't decide. During the whole process (and pretty much the previous three days) Evangeline had done nothing but sleep and occasionally strain to open her eyes and give us confused looks.

We sat in silence for a while, then the baby sleepily opened her eyes. I started cooing and talking to her and jokingly said, "OK Evangeline. I'll let you choose your name. I'll read to you the three names and you smile on the one you want us to name you." I read the first one. She grimaced. Then I read the second one--Evangeline Xochitl Cook, and call me crazy, but I sware it felt like clouds parted and bright light poured on us and Evangeline was beaming. It was the hugest (and only) smile I had/have ever seen from her and lasted a good three seconds. I couldn't believe it! The smile left and I read the third name and she just grunted.

I took it as a clear sign that it was supposed to be her name. Sure, it was most likely gas, but I'm supersticious enough to believe that it was divinely inspired gas. :-)

Dave was still reluctant. Here's the argument I gave him: We have loved this name for years. We strongly considered it with both Cambria and Maya, but refrained because we knew it would most likely be a spelling and pronunciation nightmare. Not to mention that we're not Mexican... But, we have never stopped loving it. You hardly deal with a middle name at all, so even if it's crazy, you don't really have to deal with it.

I wanted her to have a name that has relevance to our family history and/or travels like the other two girls. Cambria was fitting because Dave and I met in Cambridge, MA; traveled in England together near Cambridge; and also stayed in the beautiful, quaint, coastal town Cambria, while we were pregnant with her. Her middle name, Janis, is after my wonderful mother. Maya was almost born in Mexico (long story, but I went into labor on our "last get-away" to Ensenada) and we thought a name that is provocative of Mayan Mexican history was fitting. Her middle name, Karina, was David's long-time favorite. Since both of their names have geographic and personal history references, we wanted the same with Evangeline.

Last September we took a dream vacation to Oaxaca (prounounced wuh-haw'-kuh), Mexico. Dave served his mission there, and I've been wanting to go there for years. It was heaven. I have never blogged about it because no words seem adequate. I was pregnant with Evangeline during our trip and we saw her for the first time in an ultrasound there in Huatulco. (She waved at us!) I'd like to think she's got a little Mexican blood flowing through her because of it. Xochitl (pronounced so'-cheel) is an Aztec name common in Oaxaca, but it's usually nicknamed Xochi (prounounced so-chee).

Not only do we have the personal connection to it, but we like it because of it's beautiful meaning. The Aztec calandar relegates different symbols with different segments of time. The 260-day "year", 13-day"week", and each day have their own meanings and symbols.


Xochitl is a day. It means flower. Here is a more expanded definition (I think it's so cool):

The protector of day Xochitl (Flower) and the provider of the Shadow Soul of Tonalli is Xochiquetzal. Xochitl is a day for creating beauty and truth, especially that which speaks to the heart who knows it will one day cease to beat. Xochitl reminds us that life, like the flower, is beautiful but quickly fades. It is a good day for reflection, companionship and poignancy; it is a bad day for repressing deep-seated wishes, desires and passions.

And here is the Xochitl daysign (there are a few different versions of it, but I like this one best):


I wish my name had a symbol! I guess only Xochi and Prince are so lucky.

I'm so excited that tomorrow there is a big Aztec festival in San Jose (10-5 at the National Hispanic University, for any interested). The perfect celebration for our little one's first outing!

Welcome Evangeline!

Nine months of waiting finally came to an end last Saturday. Evangeline Xochitl Cook entered the world healthy and strong and we couldn't be more in love. Here's the (long) photo journey of her birth.

The girls have been so excited since we told them they would have a new baby sister and every day they (especially Maya) talked to her and kissed her in my belly. This is two days before due date.

I feel soooo blessed and thankful that Mom came to take care of us. She arrived on Monday, the day before I was due, but Evangeline wasn't ready to come yet, so we got to just play and hang out with her for five days before the baby came. Cambria and Maya can't get enough of her. They LOVE their grandma!
We went to a yummy new yogurt place.
And got manicures. Cambria and Maya were in heaven. They love getting their nails done and it'[s cheaper to bring them with me than get a babysitter.

The baby still hadn't arrived by Friday when we were supposed to go in for the induction. Mom was flying the girls down to Orange County for Chris and Ellie's baby Charlotte's baby blessing and were also leaving that morning. I don't know if it was separation anxiety from having them all leave or what, but as Dave and I drove to the hospital I was full of anxiety. By the time we reached the parking lot I was sobbing and didn't want to do it. So we canceled.

We went home and got to take Mom, Caima and Maya to the airport (a friend was going to do it) and that made me feel a lot better. Then Dave and I got to enjoy a full day date. We went hiking, ate Indian food, and watched a movie together. It felt like a little honeymoon and was the perfect preparation to feel excited, in-love, and at peace about expanding our family.

The next morning I felt great and ready for the big event. We headed to the hospital and checked in. By 8:45 am I was hooked up and ready to go.

The tree outside our window was gorgeous and I watched it all morning. I thought it was an auspicious symbol of life.I went from 4 cm. dialated to 10 cm. in one hour and the doctor wasn't even there. I was really irritated and dying to push, but they kept telling me to wait. My epidural didn't really work--well, it probably took an edge off--but I was in a lot of pain so when she got there after about 10 minutes I was SO ready. Her head came out on the second push and her body on the third. She was healthy and pink, weighed 8 lbs. 10 oz, 21 inches long, and scored 9.9 on the apgar. Hooray!!!
From the second she was born we couldn't quit remarking how angelic she is; that adjective fit better than any other.




The next pictures were taken on the third day before we left. I like that you can see her reflection in this picture.




In the car seat on the way home.
The girls got back from Orange County that afternoon and met their little sister for the first time.
One of my favorite moments of the whole process was seeing Cambria and Maya's faces as they held her. Pure love.

Evangeline meeting Grandma for the first time.


The girls come into our room every morning and snuggle with their little sister. They are so sweet with her and with me. Cambria keeps saying, "I love Evangeline so much. Thank you mom! Thank you so much for making her." It melts me.

Her first bath. She had about 10 arms working for her.
I love when we change her diaper and she puts her legs out stiff and straight. Abs of steel!
My little pod. Ellie made the adorable blanket.


We got a visit from my cousin Aubrey and her new little guy, Drake.

Maya found and put on this dress and did a little dance. I thought it was an appropriate celebration, given her Aztec name, Xochitl (so'chil). I will do a separate post her name.
Cambria put on her ballet dress to join the dance, but couldn't last long away from the baby.
We're so happy Evangeline is here. She has already brought so much peace and love into our home!

Mom According to...

My friend Patience did these surveys with her kids and I thought it would be fun. I just wrote down exactly what they said.

Mom according to MAYA:

1. What is something mom always says to you? Be nice.

2. What makes mom happy? Just clean up

3. What makes mom sad? Mean

4. How does your mom make you laugh? Nice

5. What was your mom like as a child? She liked flowers

6. How old is your mom? Four

7. How tall is your mom? Like this tall (arms up high)

8. What is her favorite thing to do? Clean house

9. What does your mom do when you're not around? Do something fun

10. If your mom becomes famous, what will it be for? I don't know

11. What is your mom really good at? Cleaning up

12. What is your mom not very good at? Having the baby (MY FAVORITE! So true!!! Obviously, I'm overdue...)

13. What does your mom do for her job? Sit at the computer

14. What is your mom's favorite food? Spicy

15. What makes you proud of your mom? Cleaning up

16. If your mom were a cartoon character, who would she be? snow white

17. What do you and your mom do together? go outside and take a walk when Caima is at preschool.

18. How are you and your mom the same? We both work

19. How are you and your mom different? When we're birds (???)

20. How do you know your mom loves you? Four days (???)

21. What does your mom like most about your dad? He's handsome.

22. Where is your mom's favorite place to go? To go get quesadillas.

Mom according to CAMBRIA:

1. What is something mom always says to you? Thank You!

2. What makes mom happy? Hugs and Kisses

3. What makes mom sad? That we don't lay by her and we leave her.

4. How does your mom make you laugh? By tickling

5. What was your mom like as a child? She liked oatmeal

6. How old is your mom? five

7. How tall is your mom? 60 months old

8. What is her favorite thing to do? clean her room

9. What does your mom do when you're not around? lay in bed and take a nap (this is embarrassing)

10. If your mom becomes famous, what will it be for? candy

11. What is your mom really good at? playing and tickling

12. What is your mom not very good at? not playing and tickling

13. What does your mom do for her job? clean her room and everything

14. What is your mom's favorite food? oatmeal (we had oatmeal for breakfast...i guess I looked like I was enjoying it :-)

15. What makes you proud of your mom? cleaning our room

16. If your mom were a cartoon character, who would she be? Cinderella

17. What do you and your mom do together? play games

18. How are you and your mom the same? our hair

19. How are you and your mom different? I don't know.

20. How do you know your mom loves you? Because she gives tickles and I love you and hugs and kisses and everything.

21. What does your mom like most about your dad? because she gives him hugs and kisses because he loves you

22. Where is your mom's favorite place to go? Chuck E Cheese.

Chicken Pox

The girls came walking in the kitchen where I was typing.

Me: WHAT IS GOING ON?
Cambria: We wanted Chicken Pox.

I think I'd prefer these over the real kind any day.

ENTER/EXIT

We were excited for Jared and Joe's show ENTER/EXIT at the Swarm Gallery in Oakland and it did not disappoint. Jared came out from New York for the exhibit and Joe came out from Olympia Washington. I've always been a fan of Jared's aesthetic and am currently lusting after two of his pieces:

This

And This

We turned the corner and were stunned by Joe's beautiful creation. It turned out very well.

Music

So good to see friends we love.
Caima and Maya got to meet Joe's cute kids, Edie and Grant, and got along splendidly. Cool family.
We got to see the mysteriously disappeared Wrathalls. They live! Last we heard they were living on some island in the middle of nowhere, but it turned out to be Honduras and now they're in London. So glad they showed up while they were in town.
The girls with their new favorite person, Jared, and new friends.
They were enthralled watching Joe create his shadow art.
Jared likes to tease me by putting the moves on my man.
But I think the girls are more in-love.
Uncle Bobo knows how to party. They were chasing Grant and laughing hysterically.

Such a great night--fantastic art and friends. Wish it happened more often!

Payback

All growing up, my mom tried to make me pretty. I always started the day with curls and bows, but within minutes was covered in mud. As I got older she bought me "classy" clothes, but I was mortified by the double-breasted sweaters, pleated skirts, ruffles and nautical stripes. I prefered $5 silk indian skirts and a baggy sweatshirt or oversized t-shirts. My poor mom was agonized.

Now, it's payback time. I am absolutely in-love with my Maya's curls--I'm almost jealous. I've wanted an afro my whole life and my little one came out with those ideal thick, natural curls ... and she doesn't want them. She has complained and complained that she wants straight hair. So I finally gave in and we spend about 30 min. tugging, blowdrying, and then forcing them straight with a flat iron yesterday. She didn't complain once, she was so intent on having straight hair.

So she started the day liked this:

And three hours later, looked like this:She thought she looked so beautiful. I just wanted to cry.

Cambria kept saying, "Maya, people won't know who you are! They'll say, 'Hey Cambria!' and be so confused!" I guess she thinks curls are the only differentiating factor between them.

But, I'm glad she felt pretty for a day. Too bad she'll never win the battle though. Her curls were back in full force by morning...nothing can tame them (thank goodness)!

Compare and Contrast

If you live in the bay area I highly recommend a visit to the Swarm Gallery in Oakland on Friday for Enter/Exit, an exhibition of our talented friends Jared and Joe (click them both. it's good stuff).

We had fun hanging out with them last night. We always love seeing Jared; it's nice to know none of his kid charming skills have dimmed. Here is Uncle Bobo with two of his biggest fans.

Christmas break 2007 - over a year ago

And this was this morning after breakfast

See you Friday!

Eight Days & Eight Things

1. Eight more days until the due date!

2. I'm over my anxiety. Dave and I spent our Friday night deep cleaning and organizing and I know I shouldn't care so much, but I feel so much better and ready. I'm really excited and so anxious to meet her.

3. It's been a fun week with friends. Birthday parties, valentines parties, hang outs. I love talking to friends! I went into hibernation after I had Cambria and Maya, so I've felt like I need to get a lot of friend time in before this one comes and it's been fun. I'm not sure I'll want to end it when the baby comes, so plan on visiting us!

4. I'm excited for Jared Clark and Joe Penrod at the Swarm Gallery in Oakland next Friday. We have talented friends and I really like both of their work.

5. It's been raining hard for two days and it's not supposed to stop for another week. I love the rain, but it would be nice to be able to go on a long walk without being drenched.

6. My mom is coming and I'm so excited. She's staying for 2.5 weeks! Yehoo!

7. These days I'm loving naps.

8. Sorry about the boring blog. My brain has dropped a few IQ points with this pregnancy, my energy level and mobility are low and our time is spent doing menial tasks getting ready for baby. But, I'm OK with it all and just happy to have a cozy home and sweet family and friends surrounding me. Give me a few months and hopefully more interesting things will be up again.

XOXO--Brooklyn

Fear and Frustration

The time is getting near and it's going sooooo slow, even though I have plenty to get ready for and should be busy. I just feel so enormously huge with the added discomfort of what feels like a clamp stretching my pubic bones apart. It's hard to get up and down to scrub floors, and everything we own, launder everything she'll touch, and organize all the new gear. Then there is the whole inner peace and emotional/mental preparation. I want to be prepared to raise a new human being in love and security. But really, I just feel irritable most of the time.

A while ago I read a post about someone's dream who was totally unprepared for a test in school. I love interpreting dreams so I looked it up and it meant she was feeling inadequate for a challenge she was going through. Well, I had the same one last night. I was out on vacation in some red rock desert and got distracted and was super late for a test I had at school. I showed up toward the end of the testing period and knew I hadn't studied enough. I wasn't too nervous, because I test well naturally and thought I could just rely on that. But, as I started to take it, I didn't know anything and time was running out. I was completely clueless. My favorite teacher was watching me, skaking her head because she knew I was capable of more. Then, to make matters worse, this big mean girl behind me started taunting me and saying horribly mean things about me and my best friend and making fun of how badly I was doing. I turned around and cussed at her about being such a jerk, but resisted saying more personally insulting things to her.

So basically, I'm not in the state I want to be in to bring this baby into the world. So it seems pretty obvious, but here's the state of my frustration according to my favorite dream site:

"I Failed The Test" To dream that you are taking an exam, indicates that you are being put to the test or being scrutinized in some way.Such dreams highlight your feelings of being anxious and agitated. You may find that you cannot answer any of the questions on the test. Is time running out and you find that you can not complete the exam in the allowed time? Or are you late to the exam? Such factors contribute to you failing this test. These dreams usually have to do with your self-esteem and confidence or your lack of. You are worried that you are not making the grade and measuring up to other people's expectations of you. You may also experience the fear of not being accepted, not being prepared, or not being good enough. You feel nervous, insecure and tend to believe the worst about yourself.

These dreams also suggest that you may feel unprepared for a challenge. Rarely, are these dreams about the content of the test, but rather the process and how you are feeling during the exam taking process. Generally, you feel distressed and frustrated. These feelings may parallel how you are feeling in a particular challenge or situation in your waking like.

Dreams of this nature are also an indication that you are being judged and this dream is a signal for you to examine an aspect of yourself that you may have been neglecting and need to pay attention to. You may harbor some guilt because of your neglect in preparation for a school exam, meeting, business project, or some challenge. Most of the time, though, people who have such dreams are unlikely to fail a test in real life. This dream goes back to their fear and own anxiety that they may not meet other's standards of them. They are afraid to let others down.

Normally, I'm a very confident person, but it seems like it's been so long since I've had a newborn and it seems so daunting and exhausting. Hopefully, once she's here everything will come back and feel natural again, but for now I'm just trying to breathe...

picture tag

Tagged by Mckinney's.

Rules:
1. go to the document/ my pictures site on your computer
2. go to your sixth file
3. go to your sixth picture
4. blog about it
5. tag 6 people

This was last May when my dear friend Janell's awesome husband Josh stayed with us while checking out grad school at Stanford and we took him to the beach outside of Golden Gate Park. It was incredibly windy and a little chilly. The picture is of Cambria and Maya in the background. We didn't last long out there!

Zero pressure: Kellie, Jordon, Molly, Jamie, Jena, Rebe

#3 is Officially Welcome

What a treat! The girlfriends I have here are such awesome people!

Admittedly, this third baby has been slightly more anti-climatic then the first two. I'm 38 weeks along now (only two more weeks!) and haven't been feeling quite prepared (unless wanting your body back counts as being ready). But, after celebrating with some friends yesterday, I feel more excited about her arrival. More than anything, though, it was just great to hang out with some good friends and eat good food.

I forgot to pull out the camera until the end after a few people had left, but here are a couple of pictures I got.

Jena, Molly, Me and Amy-Love these girls!

And here's me and Katie, beautiful friend and the hostess. It seems like wherever I move there is one person who is socially gifted in making people feel comfortable and creates awesome get-togethers where people can meet and make friends. In Aliso Viejo it was Patience, and here, it is Katie. She has done so many nice things for me and I think I would be so much more of a loner without her. She is a great friend and I feel so lucky to know her!

I adore Molly--she makes me happy.
Kathy and Angela--both rockstar women and moms. I wish I would have gotten more pictures with everyone!

After most everyone was gone Molly, Jena and I stayed and talked for a bit while the kiddos happily ate sugar. Cambria, Maya with Jena's adorable twin boys Hudson and Beckham. Aren't they cute?!

It was a great day and I feel sooo blessed to be surrounded by such amazing friends!

Kellie's Visit

It was pure heaven to have my only and best sister Kellie come visit! She got a plane ticket from her wonderful hubby for Christmas (thanks KC!) and we got to spend a long weekend playing. I loved having her here and have gone through withdrawal since she left. Who can I talk to until 2am now?

Her two goals were to eat well--sampling all the international fare we have here--and to talk. Mission accomplished! Luckily we have the same taste buds, so I took her to all my favorite restaurants and we lived large (figuratively and literally). And we yapped until late every single night and I loved it! I must give a shout out to my friend Katie who took Cambria and Maya all day Friday, which allowed us to spa, lunch and shop, and to David who took them the rest of the weekend and allowed me to fully vacation with Kellie. I'm so lucky I have such awesome people in my life.

I only got a few pictures, but here they are:

San Fransisco has the best farmer's markets in the world (according to me). We went to the market Saturday morning and stuffed ourselves on fresh yummy food. Heaven.

After that we went to the SFMOMA, our staple entertainment in the city, then walked across the street to meet Kellie's good friend Muriel. Isn't this picture cool? We hung out there for a while and talked while the girls played.


I loved hanging out in the city, but my favorite thing by far was just hangout out and talking. It's so nice to have a friend that gets you and you get her. I loved every second of it. Thanks for coming Kellie (make it a tradition)!

Catch Up - The Girls

We've had a fun month enjoying our last days of freedom before the baby gets here. I haven't been very camera happy, but here are a few we've taken:

We went to the city and played until late. We love this park in Yerba Buena and stayed past dark.

We went again last week and I was surprised at the moms that didn't mind their kids getting soaking wet in the fountain in the 60 degree weather. Especially the mom of the kid IN THE SUIT.

We have a Tae Kwon-do studio by our house and stopped by to watch one day. It was love at first sight for Maya. She leaned over and earnestly said, "Mom, I want to do that." We talked to the Master Guy and he said she would have to wait another few months. She is so anxious to turn three now. He invited us to a brick-breaking presentation they had and we were much obliged.
The girls have a couple of playgroups during the week that they LOVE. Here they are converting/corrupting yet another friend into loving dress-up and princesses.
Another trip to SF ended in a cupcake party. The girls were playing around while we waited for Dad to bring us our treats.


Painting in our backyard. I LOVE kid's art and we've been doing a lot more lately.

Life is good to us and I'm getting nervous about how a newborn is going to fit into this equation. But, until she comes I'm going to enjoy my big girls to the fullest!

Keith's Video

if you haven't already seen josh's post, you might enjoy the flashback... i linked it here.

Happy Martin Luther King Jr. Day!

To celebrate MLK Jr. Day and/or the inauguration, might I suggest going to usaservice.org to find service events going on in your area. I'm taking the girls to choose and donate some of their gently used books to an group that gives them to kids and schools who need them.

Also, if you'd like to listen to and read MLK's famous "I have a dream" speech, you may click here for my last year's post.

Why the Recession is Good for Us

Let me start with a disclaimer that I'm aware of all the reasons why the recession hard on people and all the negative that comes from it, but that's not what this post is about. I am also aware that this would be a lot more difficult to write had my husband or any loved one lost his/her job or house, life savings, or we had experienced any of the more severe effects of this recession. So, my prayers go out to the many of those who are in those tough positions.

But, there are many of us who are just a bit more pinched, or have had to cut back, and it's a good thing.

For a year and a half Dave and I were managing apartments, which provided us with free rent plus a helpful salary. Consequently, we got used to a lot of luxuries like eating out frequently, road trips and travel, shopping more than necessary, babysitting, and entertainment/recreational freedom. But, we stopped managing and moved into a little house in November and now pay rent, which, in Mountain View, California (or anywhere in the bay area) is painful.

As a result of these changes, I'm having to scale back--way back--and learn how to budget. And I'll be honest, I'm spoiled and have a hard time when my freedom is limited and I have to deal with restrictions. My usual solution is to just go get another job and work harder, but with a new baby on the way, I'm having to do it the old fashioned way: go without. And as time goes by, I'm enjoying it. It feels healthy.

Here's why financial limitations are good:

1. It fosters creativity. There are about five different house projects that, in normal circumstances, would have driven me to whatever home decor place to buy this or that piece of furniture or wall decor or whatever. Now, I find myself trying to reinvent what I already have, or looking for used furniture at goodwill that could be sanded and repainted, or thinking about pulling out the blank canvases that have been blank for far too long. It's all so much more fun than shopping!

2. It's good for the environment. I don't think I need to elaborate on why reusing and recycling what we already have is good for the environment. But, I'm also a little encouraged at the idea that when consumerism slows there will be an overall slowing of production all over the world: natural resources left in unscathed natural environments, pollution decreased with less production of junk and less transportation of junk.

3. It strengthens the spirit. In the past, if I'm grumpy, my default solution has been to jump in the car and go explore, get a treat, go to a museum...basically, to distract me from myself. While I don't think that those things are unhealthy, I've noticed lately, that instead of doing something that required spending money, I'll go in my room and pray and meditate and voila! I feel better and the peace is deeper than any fix that a frozen yogurt or new shoes would have given me. I think that when you have money, it's too easy to look to external comforts to make you feel good and you get used to that. Going without forces the focus inward and to fix the real causes of unhappiness.

4. It builds relationships. With less money to go out, I have more interest in switching up the ways I can stay home. One of the easiest ways to be entertained at home is to invite people over. So, for free, we can have a fun night playing games or just hanging out with friends. I've also taken to walking. I meet up with a friend several times a week and we just talk and walk. I also find myself on the phone more often, always a favorite activity.

5. It strengthens family. My tendency is to wake up and starting planning a day filled with outings...which can be spendy. We have fun together and I don't think it's unhealthy, but there's something very settling about staying home and just going along with whatever comes up...Old Maid, Go Fish, coloring, building a hut, kicking a ball around, reading stories, going on walks, crafts and other activities that require a little initiative and a little more involvement.

6. It builds confidence. There is something empowering about being in control of my finances--to know how much we have, how much we can spend and sticking to it. It's also exciting to watching savings grow and know we have earned it.

7. Everything becomes less shallow. I'll admit, I like clothes, fashion, and shopping. I don't want to like them, but I just do. I justify it by classifying it into a visual art of sorts--color, balance and line--then throw in the cultural implications, creativity and personal expression and it becomes an interesting hobby. But, I know that people (and life) are much more than external appearances. While I've never been obsessed with all the shallow stuff, since we have been on a tighter budget, I have lost my interest in clothes almost entirely...(or is it because of my enormous baby bump?) Either way, I just don't have much concern for what anyone is wearing, or driving, or anything else shallow. There is so much going on in our country and world right now, that I think there is an overall shift away from the superficial and toward politics, community, and more substantial issues. When the Jones can't afford to be on top of the lastest trends, everyone stops trying to keep up with them... and we all rest a lot easier.

Sunshine and Daydreams

All this uncharacteristic snow that I've been reading about in Albuquerque, Houston, Las Vegas and Madrid has had me a little envious and wistful for a real winter, but this week has helped ease my pain. We also got strange weather in California, but in the form of record breaking, beautiful summer-like days. It's been over 70 all week so we've been enjoying our new backyard and soaking up as much sun as we can.

I got super sick and achy yesterday and guiltlessly spent the today as the world's-worst-mom. I laid around while the girls destroyed the house, yard, ate tons of sugar and watched too much TV. Sometimes, you just gotta let go...like when you feel like you got hit by a train.

Luckily, before I got sick we spent a blissful day at Shoreline lake on Tuesday. I love that it's so close to our house, but we don't go nearly enough. Cambria suggested a picnic and I thought it was a wonderful idea, so we met Dave for lunch, then hung out and played for a few hours.

This is probably an overdose of pictures, but my head is all stuffy and deciding which ones to eliminate was too big a task for me.



Cambria always packs around purses and pockets full of treats, make-up, toys, office supplies--you name it. She was excited to find the frosted mini-wheats that she had stuffed her pockets with come in so handy. She had a huge fan club by the time we left.

It was a very very good day.

Lessons and Reminders from 2008

My mom wanted us to write a list of what we learned in 2008. Mine are nothing proufound, but I thought I'd share some of them none the less.

• As a homemaker and co-parent, let things go. Relax and don’t let the day-to-day routines and tasks of living overshadow the fun of being married and parenting.
• Be honest no matter what the consequences may be. If you have done something wrong and are at risk for reprimand of any sort, don’t cower, just be bold and strong, tell the truth, and take whatever consequence follows.
• I learned to listen more carefully to advice from family. Sometimes I think I know a situation best, but may be too close to see danger that can only be seen by those around you.
• Don’t be afraid to vacation with kids.
• Appreciate the good in intention and actuality in your spouse.
• The nature of men and women in raising children are different. Men are wired to be concerned about the long term welfare of their children. Women are wired to worry about the short term well-being. Don’t expect Dads to react as quickly to the everyday needs that arise, just know that the children will be fine and are blessed to have a loving dad—in whatever form that love comes in.
• Appreciate friendship in all forms, not just people I think are like me.
• Everyone loves being liked and appreciated. Don’t be afraid to express those feelings, ever, to anyone.
• When planning events, do things simply. There are plenty of good, creative ideas that are not time or energy consuming. Often, less is more.
• You don’t have to be asked to be of great help. Don’t even offer. If you see a need, just do it and don’t be afraid of how it will be received. It will almost always be received with relieved appreciation.
• Dress well and take care of yourself. You’ll feel better about yourself and be better received no matter where you are.
• Don’t buy things just because they are a good bargain. Only buy things that you love.
• In order to stay humble and positive, one must pray.
• I’m reminded how very lucky I am to be able to easily get pregnant, have easy pregnancies and have children.
• I’ve learned even more how lucky I am to have such a forgiving and loving husband.
• It is constantly reinforced how lucky I am to have healthy, sweet, gentle girls who have such pleasant natures.

Bitter Sweet

Last night Cambria went to bed with a scratchy throat and runny nose. She woke up three hours later in a panic. She couldn't breathe and was hacking out belabored barking coughs. She couldn't get enough air to cry. Assuming (correctly, thank goodness) she had croup I took her into the bathroom with the steamy shower. She kept trying to talk and I told her not to and to just calm down, but she kept trying to say something. I put my ear by her mouth and my heart about broke: Between gasps and breaths and so distraught, she said, "Mom, now I won't be Maya's big sister."

Sheesh, makes me cry just typing it.

Luckily, she calmed down and after an hour of alternating between the steam room and being outside in the cold air she could breathe well enough to go back to sleep. Although not fully recovered, she's doing much better today and has sweetly resumed big sister duties.